I am worried about my Future.
This worrying goes hand in hand with this knowledge, constant in my mind, that I am completely unequipped to have a straight career in France. (nor do I want to.)

I need... to pull it together.
I had it together for a while, and I came back here and took some time off (much needed, as a result I've produced far more than I even dreamed of.) But now I need to balance things out. tit for tat.

Ive been working with thicker, goopier mediums like acrylics and painting painting painting..
Some of my friends think I'm avoiding them because I'd rather sit in my lounge and drink tea and splatter goo on paper for days than get dolled up and have drinks.. its not completly false, not all that true either.

now Im going to go and paint a truly horrific portrait of an old lady. and resist sending it to my grandfather's wife.
with a note. a note that says FUCK YOU.
signed,
yours truly.